Wednesday, November 24, 2010

This Gal LOVED the beach. . .




We spent a little over a week in California the first part of November.
We had three magical days at Disneyland and California Adventure.
And two days (mostly for the adults in LA)
And two INCREDIBLE days at Newport Beach.


You'd think from a six year old. . .
Disneyland would have been a favorite.
And it was. . . she had such a great time.
She met Tinkerbell.
Enjoyed her FAVORITE ride more then 15 times which was the Hollywood Tower of Terror.
She got to sit front row VIP at the Aladdin musical.
Enjoy fireworks above Sleeping Beauty's castle and see Tinkerbell fly all around it.
It was definitely a magical first visit for her.

But what her most favorite part of our trip. . .
The BEACH!
Go figure!
She ran into that water like it was warm.
She splashed in that water like she wasn't cold.
She let that sun hit her face.
She build sand castles bigger then she was!
She is a California beach girl at heart.


It made me wish at this exact moment of watching her run and splash in the water. . .
I wished right then that she could hear.
I wanted her to experience every part of the beach.
The waves.
The water.
The serenity of it all.
I begged Desmond to let her wear her cochlear implant, of course, knowing that would have been a terrible idea.
I just wanted her to hear what WE ALL were hearing.

I realized later that day, after spending several hours at the beach.
It didn't bother her.
She was more then willing to throw that implant off and dive head first into those waves.
She could hear them up on the sand.

Sometimes I think I'm more worried about what she can and can't hear and I pay more attention to that then the moment we're in. So now. . . after my reflection. . . I'll spend more time relishing these moments with her. These moments when she jumps right into that ocean without a care in the world.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Want to hear a secret?

(Savanah's daddy and myself are thinking about getting her a 2ND implant.)

Coloring vs. Reading

So I attended Parent Teacher Conference last night.
I have to say it was interesting.
Savanah's mainstream teacher was lovely.
Very "first-grader'ish"
Told me "Savanah is darling, such a beautiful outgoing girl."
"We just love her."
We already knew that.
We discussed how she is doing in the class.
What progress she seems to be making.
She is doing extremely well.
Listening intently, not straining but very attentive.
She is following directions.
She is friendly and social.
Kids are receptive with her.
Things are going well. . . except. . .
her coloring I was told.
"Her coloring is not really up to my standard."
I was blown away!
But then I shrugged it off. . .
Because at the next conference I went to with her deaf teacher,
I was delighted to hear. . .
Savanah is reading above GRADE LEVEL!
She is able to read independently!
And with her guided reading, she is doing wonderfully!
So once again I will ask, coloring vs. reading?
I'll pick reading.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Basic Stuff. . .

will never come "easily" to Savanah.

But over the course of these last weeks of school, Savanah has taken 3 spelling tests and aced every single one of them!

We've definitely worked hard. Homework nightly, spelling, reading, sight words, math etc. Of course, not the favorite thing to do, but she definitely is working hard to get this stuff down.

It got me thinking the other evening, Savanah will always have to work hard in school, EXTRA HARD. School is never going to be "easy" for her. Some things will not just come naturally because of her deafness. So we have designated an area and time frame that homework needs to be done. I've felt like I've had to be fairly strict for the age of 6, but if good habits start early, hopefully they will stay.

Still always so very proud of our Savanah and all of her efforts to live in this hearing world. :)

Monday, September 13, 2010

I was meant. . .

to have a daughter.
to have a deaf daughter.
to have her teach me in more ways then she will ever know.
to cherish her.
to learn patience and kindness from her.
to grow with her.
to respect her.
to realize that everyone really is different.


I was meant to have Savanah. She was my trial and great joy at the exact same moment.
Other people may not realize the stresses that come with parenting a deaf child. It can be emotionally draining and at times financially impactful, but I wouldn't trade her for the world. Not one moment. (But I definitely will trade her cable coil on her cochlear implant that is about to go out, and the $290 that will come with that!)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ding!

Just was reading over my previous post. . .

Is not that just the most AMAZING thing. . .

I can have a VERBAL conversation with my deaf daughter.

My deaf daughter, who was unable to speak a mere three years ago!

And look at that now. . . a FULL conversation!!!

Still amazes me.

That's all!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

We had a chat. . .

just me and Savanah. Gracen was asleep. Daddy was in the mountains with his 4-wheeler, so it was the perfect time to have this little chat and it went something like this. . .

Me: So how was school?
Savanah: Good. I have two classes. Mrs. Boles class and Mrs. Buskers class. I live in that class with Ellie. We all have implants. Mrs. Busker has a time out class, Hunter was there today, he was not listening.
Me: Oh really? Were you listening?
Savanah: Yup. I did not have to go to time out. I listened and got a sticker.
Me: Well good Savanah, I'm so glad you are minding your teachers. Are you hearing okay in class?
Savanah: Yup. Remember mom I have an implant. :)
Me: I know sis. I just want to make sure that when someone is talking to you or in front of the class, like the teacher, that you are hearing and understanding everything that is going on.
Savanah: I got switched. My seats just like switched. I sit in front of Jacob not in the back anymore. Switched, just like that. (big goofy smile and hand movements)
Me: Oh good, so you got moved closer in Mrs. Boles class. Glad to hear it. Are you liking school lunch and the lunch room?
Savanah: Yup. All the peoples talk in the lunchroom. Talk about cool stuff and funny things. You can talk all the time in the lunchroom. Talk to everyone about cool stuff.
Me: Good, I'm glad you are having such a good time. I love first grade.
Savanah: I love it too. I'm not in KINDIEGARTENER anymore. I'm big. I'm like in first. I live in first.
Me: Well you live here sis but you go to school and are in the first grade.
Savanah: I know mom, I know. :)

Well first week of school, down.

Monday, August 16, 2010

FIRST GRADE

I remember being a first grader.

Edgemont Elementary, Mrs. Hale's class.

I have vivid memories of that year. Especially when I got in trouble and was sent back to Kindergarten for a few hours. I remember the 'reading treehouse', the desks and how they opened and could smash your fingers if you were not careful. I remember the library trips and recess. I remember the hall and where I use to place my backpack. I remember the smells and eating lunch in the big cafeteria.

Well my little Savanah is starting first grade next week. Wednesday the 25th. Yikes! What a scary thought to have a first grader, I don't feel old enough, I don't feel ready for her to keep growing up. But it is happening, right before my eyes.

I hope she cherishes first grade. I hope she has only positive, fantastic memories like I did. I hope she makes life-long friends, some of which I still have as far back as first grade. I hope she loves her teacher. I hope she listens. Intently and understands. I hope she loves to read, just like her and her dad did when we were 6 and 7. I hope she enjoys school lunch, because unfortunately the days of packed lunch for her and bye-bye this year. I hope she runs and laughs during recess. I hope she shares and follows directions and loves school to the fullest extent.

Savanah will hopefully only be in this particular school for this year, hopefully we'll be in a new house, with a new school by second grade, an elementary school that the kids will stay in.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

?MOLDS?

In need of a hearing aid mold for Savanah. . .unfortunately her audiologist with the school is out of town. . . anywhere else in UTAH VALLEY that other people get molds done at a reasonable cost?

BTW: Yep, Savanah is being fitted for her new HEARING AID next MONTH! Woohoo!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

All in a day's outing.


Recently Savanah and I have ran into several children with cochlear implants. This is such a neat experience for her, since most of the time, the people you see with hearing devices are older and have hearing aids. So to see another child have a cochlear implant automatically connects you to them! And we have no problem talking to the family or the child, in fact, if they are in earshot, we do every time.

Kids who have cochlear implants are bonded. It's not like that if you wear glasses or anything, but these kids have been through the ringer. They are learning something so new and yes, even though we won't publicly announce it to them on a daily basis, they are a little bit different, definitely a little more special. Savanah beams with pride when she meets a family with a child who also has a cochlear implant and I beam even more when I get to show how wonderfully Savanah is doing with her speech and language.

We have come to know that every child who recieves a cochlear implant reacts differently. Some progress faster, some regress. The outcomes are all so different. These children are all so unique in their own ways. What may work for one, may not work for the other. But all in all, it is such a neat experience to talk with a family, or a mother, or just the child, for a moment, and walk away from that moment feeling relieved other people go through this process as well.

So even if you don't have a cochlear implant, but you see someone who does. . . why don't you stop them. Let them know you know a bit about those! Ask them how they are liking it. It probably would make their day, it definitely makes Savanah's!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

We did IT!


We took a STAND and RAISED AWARENESS to STOP CMV!

We had a pretty good turnout for the lemonade stand. I was impressed with the people who really went out of there way for myself and Savanah to stop by. THANK YOU to THOSE of YOU who SUPPORTED us! I also am so grateful for friends, not just ordinary friends, but friends who dedicated hours and an entire day for this cause. THANK YOU, YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING PEOPLE and one person, specifically, went above and beyond the call of duty and you know who you are!

Ever since we found out Savanah was deaf, I have tried to be an advocate for her. I want people to be aware of her condition, and her cochlear implant, and her abilities and this virus. I have wanted people to know that she is just like any other child, and to please always treat her that way. I have wanted to make the difference, not only just in her life but the lives of others. I think we somewhat accomplished that on Saturday.

We may not have raised our goal for fundraising, we may have GALLONS and GALLONS of lemonade leftover, but the main goal was reached. We raised AWARENESS for people in this valley of ours and my promise and commitment to STOP CMV is that I will continue to raise awarness with OB offices across this county so that pregnant women will finally be aware of this devastating virus.

TAKE a STAND to STOP CMV! Also if you have not done so. . . go to the website and upload your photos for the HAND C!AMPAIGN

Saturday, June 5, 2010

It's TODAY!


HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Last day. . .

It is Savanah's last day of Kindergarten. WOW! This year has flown by. These past few days have been a blur, there are parent teacher conferences, meetings etc. to determine what Savanah's placement should be next year.

I never realized what deaf children and parents of deaf children went through with education. Until meeting Savanah, I had never really met a deaf person. I do remember one girl in highschool who wore hearing aids and was more reserved. I remember talking to her a few times and not being able to understand her very well. She was probably just passed along in the school system.

For the first three years of Savanah's life, her dad and I spent very precious time learning how to parent a deaf child and fighting for resources. We did not have any other children yet. We devoted all of our time to her. It was time consuming, but all the work has definitely paid off, not to mention our decision to have Savanah recieve a cochlear implant. When Gracen came along in 2008, it was a completely different experience. She was a hearing child. She talks at the age of 2, she comprehends everything you are saying, she follows directions, it is a totally different world.

We have two little girls, Savanah who is deaf and Gracen who is hearing. They are both intelligent, funny and absolutely darling. Gracen sort of understands that Savanah cannot hear, especially in the morning and during bathtime. She knows what her cochlear implant is and to not touch it. It has been tricky at times having a deaf child and hearing child. My goal is to be the perfect parent giving both children equal, quaility time and to insure Savanah is never left out. I also want, Gracen to not feel like the focus is always on Savanah. I do not want her to resent Savanah for being deaf. I try my best, but often laugh at my errors.

After all of this talk about school and mainstreaming lately, the thought of having a hearing child and deaf child has stayed in my mind. I have often wondered what differences we will encounter with putting Gracen in school. There will not be IEP's and all of these meetings. I wonder what it will be like for Gracen to grow up and attend school with her deaf sister.

So as for now, Savanah just got on her van to attend her last day with Becky and her last day at Kindergarten. She sure is growing up. Her confidence is beaming. Her language and speech are beautiful. Her grades are on her level. She is shining! Now if we could only make our decision as to what to do with her next year. . . !

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The LOGO. . .


Savanah's Stand to STOP CMV

JUNE 5th @ 1:00 PM

Location to be announced.

Awesome huh?

Thanks J!

Friday, April 30, 2010

It's been a good 3 years. . .

but officially today. The warranty and "insurance" on the CI is gone.

GONE!

Ugh! So tell me parents, especially ones with Cochlear, what have you done. Did you pay for the insurance through Cochlear? Did you purchase other insurance else where? Have you just winged it? Home owner's insurance?

Des and I are at a stand-still. We really just do not know what is going to be the best option, so please comment away, I desperately need it.

Crash! Bang! WHOA!

So in the morning, after a peaceful nights rest. . . (or not), depends on the night, Desmond and I (and sometimes Miss Gracen) awake to Savanah and her "CI-less" voice.

Oh geez, let me tell ya, the volume on that voice, without the implant, is electrifying to your ears.

Especially when it is out of a deep slumber.

It is so darling though, because she doesn't know how loud she is really being, she can't hear herself, so why should any of us hear her right?!? It's the same way when she is going to bed, she's been tucked in, kisses and hugs, a story or two were read, and then the CI comes off. Silence, daddy and I leave the room. Not more then 15 minutes later, there is a ruckus, a LOUD ruckus I might add, and she is awake, fidgeting with her toys. When you appear back into that purple room, she is stunned, SHOCKED at why you are even there, remember, she can't hear that LOUD noise that just occurred, so why should I?!?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Turning LEMONS into SUPPORT. . .

So you may or may not already know by now, but JUNE is National CMV Awareness month!
(http://www.stopcmv.org/june.php)

And you may or may not know that I am the area rep in Utah for this foundation.

And you may or may not know that I am going to THROW the BIGGEST lemonade(fundraiser) stand for this non-profit organization EVER!



So PLEASE keep your calendars marked for JUNE 5th in UTAH VALLEY. Location to be announced at a later date, and if any of you are unable to attend and would like to donate to help support this cause, please do so. http://www.stopcmv.org/donate.php

LOOKING forward to this awareness/fundraising event! It's going to be awesome! And if any of you would like to help, please let me know.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Happy Hearing Day!

Three years ago, our family was blessed. Savanah was especially blessed with the most wonderous technology.

On this very day, 3 years ago, we made the drive to Primary Childrens. We unloaded and walked into the building. Our stomachs turning. Praying we had made the right decision. Watching our everything get ready for major surgery. My heart ached for her. It ached for Desmond and myself. Nerves were high. The surgeon came in, explained the procedure. We gave hugs and kisses to Savanah. Tried to reassure her everything was going to be okay. 45 minutes flew by, that waiting room grew smaller by the second. Desmond and I were shocked when Dr. Shelton walked through the doors. "I am done. Everything went perfectly." Music to my ears. I followed the recovery nurse back, only one parent, of course mom. I came around the corner and peered at my Savanah, drowsy, medicated, sore. I held her in my arms. Relieved. Nerves were gone. Everything went well.

Days following were miraculous. She recovered quickly. Some of my fondest memories are from those days. She was activated one month later and her LIFE began!

What an amazing world we live in. My deaf daughter can hear. And can HEAR WELL. We celebrate this day for Savanah, for our family, because it was definitely a day that changed our entire lives.

Friday, March 26, 2010

"I'm going to be 6 years old. . . "

ALL DAY MOM!!!



And she was, she was six all throughout her day. Grandpa Hill (the other birthday guy) brought her some lunch to school, she woke up to a house that was decorated just for her, had some special pancakes, had a BIG birthday dinner at Tucano's then came back home and opened up LOTS and LOTS of presents from everyone! It was a great day, and now today. . . she is still 6 and a little bit taller!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Appropriate.


So this year. . . Savanah is turning 6.

In TWO days to be EXACT.

SIX!

Where does the time go? Anywho. . . the theme of her party this year. . .

RAINBOWS!

(lots and lots of rainbows. . . )

Rainbow cake, rainbow cupcakes, rainbow balloons, wrapping paper, decorations.

The reason being. . . Savanah is my coloful rainbow child.

Each of the colors of the rainbow shines through in her personality and we absolutely love EVERY color of her.

ALL 6'ness of her. Geez!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A little more explanation regarding CMV. . .per Wikipedia.

Pregnancy and congenital infection

Micrograph of a cytomegalovirus (CMV) infection of the placenta (CMV placentitis). The characteristic large nucleus of a CMV infected cell is seen off-centre at the bottom-right of the image. H&E stain.HCMV is one of the TORCH infections that lead to congenital abnormalities. These are: toxoplasmosis, rubella, herpes simplex, and cytomegalovirus. Congenital HCMV infection occurs when the mother suffers a primary infection (or reactivation) during pregnancy. Due to the lower seroprevalence of HCMV in industrialized countries and higher socioeconomic groups, congenital infections are actually more common in poorer communities, where more women of child-bearing age are already seropositive. In industrialized countries up to 8% of HCMV seronegative mothers contract primary HCMV infection during pregnancy, of which roughly 50% will transmit to the fetus.[10] Between 22-38% of infected fetuses are then born with symptoms,[11] which may include pneumonia, gastrointestinal, retinal and neurological disease.[12][13] HCMV infection occurs in roughly 1% of all neonates with those who are not congenitally infected contracting the infection possibly through breast milk.[14][15][16] Other sources of neonatal infection are bodily fluids which are known to contain high titres in shedding individuals: saliva (<107copies/ml) and urine (<105copies/ml )[17][18] seem common routes of transmission.

The incidence of primary CMV infection in pregnant women in the United States varies from 1% to 3%. Healthy pregnant women are not at special risk for disease from CMV infection. When infected with CMV, most women have no symptoms and very few have a disease resembling infectious mononucleosis. It is their developing fetuses that may be at risk for congenital CMV disease. CMV remains the most important cause of congenital viral infection in the United States. HCMV is the most common cause of congenital infection in humans and intrauterine primary infections are second only to Down's syndrome as a known cause of mental retardation.[19]

For infants who are infected by their mothers before birth, two potential adverse scenarios exist:

Generalized infection may occur in the infant, and can cause complications such as low birth weight, microcephaly, seizures, petechial rash similar to the "blueberry muffin" rash of congenital rubella syndrome, and moderate hepatosplenomegaly (with jaundice). Though severe cases can be fatal, with supportive treatment most infants with CMV disease will survive. However, from 80% to 90% will have complications within the first few years of life that may include hearing loss, vision impairment, and varying degrees of mental retardation.
Another 5% to 10% of infants who are infected but without symptoms at birth will subsequently have varying degrees of hearing and mental or coordination problems.
However, these risks appear to be almost exclusively associated with women who previously have not been infected with CMV and who are having their first infection with the virus during pregnancy. Even in this case, two-thirds of the infants will not become infected, and only 10% to 15% of the remaining third will have symptoms at the time of birth. There appears to be little risk of CMV-related complications for women who have been infected at least 6 months prior to conception. For this group, which makes up 50% to 80% of the women of child-bearing age, the rate of newborn CMV infection is 1%, and these infants appear to have no significant illness or abnormalities.[1]

The virus can also be transmitted to the infant at delivery from contact with genital secretions or later in infancy through breast milk. However, these infections usually result in little or no clinical illness in the infant.

To summarize, during a pregnancy when a woman who has never had CMV infection becomes infected with CMV, there is a potential risk that after birth the infant may have CMV-related complications, the most common of which are associated with hearing loss, visual impairment, or diminished mental and motor capabilities. On the other hand, infants and children who acquire CMV after birth have few, if any, symptoms or complications.

Recommendations for pregnant women with regard to CMV infection:

Throughout the pregnancy, practice good personal hygiene, especially handwashing with soap and water, after contact with diapers or oral secretions (particularly with a child who is in day care).
Women who develop a mononucleosis-like illness during pregnancy should be evaluated for CMV infection and counseled about the possible risks to the unborn child.
Laboratory testing for antibody to CMV can be performed to determine if a women has already had CMV infection.
Recovery of CMV from the cervix or urine of women at or before the time of delivery does not warrant a cesarean section.
The demonstrated benefits of breast-feeding outweigh the minimal risk of acquiring CMV from the breast-feeding mother.
There is no need to either screen for CMV or exclude CMV-excreting children from schools or institutions because the virus is frequently found in many healthy children and adults

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Venting. . .

Okay so I've had it.

PEOPLE who are PREGNANT. . . your twenty week ultrasound appointment is not to determine the sex of your baby whatsoever!

That appointment is meant for finding out vital things about the baby. Healthy heart, lungs, limbs etc!!!


For anyone that has had a disabled child, I am sure you know the exact frustration I am ranting about. The mothers and fathers out there, who did everything right in their pregnancy, diet, exercise, pre-natals and had the dissappointing news of finding out that child will be faced with a disability for the rest of their lives. We know how it feels to just want a heatlthy baby, especially if you had more children following your disabled child.


I wish people could wake up a little bit and be grateful that they are even pregnant, ( I lost my third pregnancy this year at 9 1/2 weeks). There are couples on this earth who cannot concieve on their own, and rely on other methods and sometimes it doesn't even happen for them then. I also just wish, after they leave their 20-week appointment, I hope they can breathe a sigh of relief that the baby is healthy and be happy if it's just another girl after they've already had two other little girls at home BUT they so DESPERATELY wanted a boy.


I would not trade my Savanah for anything in this entire WORLD, the experiences I have learned from parenting a deaf child are far too precious. But I will tell you this. . . for those of you who have never experienced it and are dissapointed with your gender outcome. . .please just think about the little boy that was born with spina bifida, the little girl who will never be able to walk, the boy who is deaf and blind, the little girl that will only live minutes on this earth because of a heart defect. After you think about them and what their parents must be feeling. . . you all might change your minds.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Yep, she's still here. . .


Bet you all were wondering where the star of the show has been. She's still here, just getting over a cold, going back to school, looking forward to spring and her bithday and oh yeah, sleeping over at Grandma's house this Saturday night. . . but yep, she's still here and turning into more of a young woman everyday. Love ya Savanah.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Just thrilled!

I just have to say how thrilled I am to have found www.stopcmv.com

I cannot tell you how lonely it has been for us as a family to not have anyone know what CMV is and to have professionals tell us so little about it.

We know Savanah contracted it somewhere near the end of my pregnancy. We know that I contracted it POSSIBLY throught the pre-school I was working at. We know it POSSIBLY caused her deafness. We also know that she did pass it on to my mother 6 months after she was born. And we KNOW that she is not infectious anymore.

I am watched carefully for this virus during my pregnancies. I have to see a perinatologist. They have to look at the baby over and over again, making sure everyting checks out and that this baby is in the clear.

Now for those of you who know me, please know this. . .there is nothing anyone can do if you do get CMV during your pregnancy. BUT the whole point of STOP CMV - The CMV Action Network is PREVENTION! SPREADING the word! You never hear about this virus in your OB's office, because they can't do anything for it BUT you can!

Please if you know me, or don't know me and if you care about Savanah and any child out there. Or if you are pregnant or know someone who is, please check that website out and educate people. You have no idea what a difference you could make.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Tick-Tock


Just had to vent for a minute. . .

Something extremely frustrating about raising a deaf child, is their inability to hear alarm clocks. Therefor, I believe that is why Savanah is that much more difficult to wake up in the morning.

What am I going to do when she is a teenage?!? Oh.

Tough Decisions

Recently I was approached by Savanah's deaf teacher about some concerns she has been having with Savanah and her language patterns.

Savanah leaves off linking verbs quite often, almost in all of her sentences. You never realize how important "the", "and", "in", "it", etc. are until you follow a story from Savanah. Although, as her parents, we can understand the point she is getting too, without the linking verbs.

Her teacher explained to us that if we cannot close this gap and help her with trying to use the linking verbs more and more, school is going to just get more difficult for her.

As hearing individuals, processing words in our brains comes with no energy. You hear a word, and not even a second later, you can understand the word, in fact, an entire sentence, story etc. If Savanah does not catch one word from a teacher, peer etc. not only does it take her an extra minute to process the word she did not understand, but then the words afterwards she has missed entirely.

We have decided after very careful consideration and every factor that the best thing for Savanah right now is to have her attend full-time Kingergarten at USD and finish out the year with Becky. I have faith in Becky and her abilites to help Savanah as much as she can with "closing this gap".

There were bittersweet moments with me yesterday, as it was Savanah's last day with her mainstream class. I know she has made friends there. I know she enjoys the class. We love the teacher and ultimately just want the most "normal" school experience for Savanah but we also want her to succeed in school, the entire way, and we all know what a long journey school can be.

I feel confident that we made the right decision, I only hope the very best for Savanah. She has come a long way for only being implanted for a little over two years! If we all keep up our part of the deal in helping her develop her speech, then she will definitely benefit in the long run!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A moment. . .

Recently I have been finding myself in these "moments" where I go back to the exact moment when we found out Savanah was deaf and how crushing that was. It was soul shattering. I thought, why me and why my poor baby?!? You have read my posts like this, you know how I felt.

But how I feel now is completely different! I feel so fortunate for a healthy child. I feel blessed beyond words that she is still here and she is happy and breathing. I am so happy that medical miracles occur daily and she has a working cochlear implant and she can hear with it! I am so proud of my almost - 6- year old. I am proud of myself and her dad for overcoming the trials and tribulations that raising a deaf child has encountered, but more so I am proud of Savanah for enduring and never giving up.

We could have been dealt a really bad card. CMV could have made Savanah extremely sick, she could have died. Recently, a story I followed of a mother with a sick infant battling pertussis, passed away at Primary's a few days ago. When you hear and see people experience things like that, losing a child, so young and innocent, you have to stop and count your blessings for the healthy children in your life.

I know I think about things like this when I am pregnant, which I am now with baby #3My CMV titers have to be checked, we have to see a perinatologist for an ultrasound rather then a regular 2o week checkup. I worry all over again. I wonder if this baby will also be born deaf, if the baby will even be healthy or if this baby could battle CMV and worse?!?

But again. . . I will continue to count my blessings, my two beautiful blessings that remind me daily of why I was put on this Earth.