A little rant. . .

It's getting down to countdown time, Savanah will be receiving her 2nd implant in about two weeks. I am both scared and excited for her. I keep thinking, will it be just like the last time? Will her surgery run as smoothly? Will she recover quicker? Will she instantly hear better? Will that new implanted ear know exactly what to do? I'm not sure the magnitude of this surgery has set it quite yet. We've talked about it, but mostly the last little while the focus has been on Christmas. I'm sure after the holiday, we'll be switching gears quite a bit. I've prepared to take a week off from work to nurse my baby back to health. Hopefully she will not need that full week, but her anxiety driven mother might. I keep asking myself. . . Am I making the right decision? Did we all make the right decision? Is Savanah feel pressured? Does she even want this? How could an almost 9 year old really know if she wants this? We've seen amazing things with other bilateral implanted kids. I'm praying that this experience that we've seen will be the same with our little Savanah. Awhile ago, Savanah was complaining of severe headaches. They would usually occur at the end of the day. They would almost blindside her. She would want to take her implant off and go in her room. She would sleep them off. They were happening frequently, they were also happening at school. I took her to her neurologist where he questioned the idea of "straining to hear" - this is something that commonly happens to people who cannot hear very well. It's hard to try to listen, especially with one ear. Especially when you're not use to it. So not only did we come to the conclusion that having bilateral implants should help the headaches, it will allow her to hear a little easier in a school environment. She shouldn't have to "strain" to hear. I am still so inspired by her everyday. We just recently had her IEP at her mainstream school. She receives services from a wonderful guy a few hours a week. He checks up on all the mainstream kiddos who transferred from USDB. We sat down with him, the principal and her mainstream teacher. And from all the testing and remarks, they all were in agreeance that she is right on level with her mainstreaming peers. She is reading on level, doing math on level, spelling on level. Doing everything on grade level And there is no bullying going on! Yeah!

January 9th!

So Savanah's surgery date is scheduled for January 9th. There are all sorts of emotions flying around about this. Excited, a little nervous. You know the jist. I mean, it's major surgery, who wouldn't be a little intimidated by that? And being a medical professional and knowing everything single thing that can happen has never been good for my soul but I have complete faith that everything will go according to plan! We've been asked by a few different people why we are choosing to implant her other ear when she has done so well and is hearing just fine. Well I'm here to clear this up. . . "just fine" is mediocre. We are born with two ears, most of the time. We are designed in life to hear with two ears. Savanah has done exceptionally well with just the one implant but I want to give her the opportunity to advance. To not tire out so quickly in school after listening all day, I want her to have the advantage of localizing (finding the sound) better, I want her to have the option of implants. She can choose later to wear them or not to wear them. She is amazing! Technology is amazing! Every single person that has ever been involved with her education, therapy, training is amazing! I hope only the best for her, that is all we can ever do for our children. Be able to give them endless possibilities. And that my friends, is what we are trying to do for Savanah.

BIG news!

I would like to make an announcement! 2013 will be another BIG year for Savanah. At the beginning of the year. . . Sometime in January. Savanah will be receiving. . . Drum roll!!!!

ANOTHER cochlear implant! Wahoo! She has been approved. We are just waiting for a surgery date, which we were promised will be in January. :) We are so excited for her! She has wanted this for some time! So glad we can make it happen.

Third to the grade.

Savanah starts third grade tomorrow. At a new school. With new people. New faces for teachers. COMPLETELY taken out of her comfort zone. Except for her bestie in her class. We met her teacher today. It was strange. I felt disconnected. She was nervous. Ne

She seemed nervous to have to teach a deaf child. But for being nervous, she sure didn't ask near the questions I expected. It seemed repetitive trying to explain to her that Savanah needs to sit on the right side of the room in the first few rows, near where the teacher will be speaking. I felt like I was wasting my breath. She seemed to think I was crazy. Even though I am her mother. I have experienced all of the auditory testing with her. We have been with specialists and teachers who only TEACH deaf children. I sure hope it goes better than this first official meeting. First impressions are huge, don't ya think? I'm a concerned but we'll see how it goes. I'm excited to report - that I will officially have a FULL-TIME mainstreamer tomorrow. I'm so excited to hear about her day after school.

Mapping & Sno-Cones

Recently Savanah and I ventured to Logan for her cochlear implant mapping. Mapping appointments consist of working with our favorite audiologist Cache but they involved audiograms - sound programming - and electrode tuning. This last appointment. Was just Savanah and I. A little mommy-daughter date. The drive to Logan (which is about 2 1/2 hours away from our home) was eventful. I was able to talk to Savanah the entire drive up there. I learned a lot about her. Have you ever really just talked to your kids? AND really LISTENED?!? This drive I listened to her tell me all about her friendship with Elly. How she really does enjoy being a big sister. How swimming is one of her favorite things to do and that she really doesn't like seafood or meat. I also learned that Savanah understands her deafness and "thinks it's pretty neat at night to not hear anything!" I also learned something I never had heard before - A sno-cone is her favorite treat and that summer was her best season. I agreed with her and told her I feel the same way. Later on that evening, after her mapping appointment, we each enjoyed a good sno-cone. She had lime and I had tigers blood. And it was a perfect day. The coolest thing about this day though - was the fact that while I was driving, holding both of my hands on the steering wheel, I was able to verbally communicate with my deaf daughter. And through the power of technology and medical expertise and a LOT OF WORK on both of our parts - she was able to listen to me. I didn't have to rely on sign language at traffic lights. She did not have to read my lips. We talked. And it was wonderful.

Different

So Savanah has a new best friend. This new BFF lives a few doors down. In our new hood. She is also 8. She is a little tom-boyish too so you can imagine how much Savanah is just eating that up. She loves it. They love each other. They sleepover. Play all day. Take tennis together. They are with each other ALL THE TIME. so y

And you know what I absolutely love about this new friend of ours. Not only is she super accepting of Savanah. But she has also been a HUGE model of difference in Savanah's life as well. In Utah it is pretty rare to see people who are of different races. Predominatly white people live in Utah. So to Savanah having a friend who was not white was huge. But I have to tell you. NEVER once has Savanah mentioned to me the difference of her skin color. Never once has she said anything to me. We're all different. Light. Dark. Hearing. Deaf. Blind. Handicapped. Blonde. Brown eyes. The list goes on. . . And that is the beauty of the human race.

Legit.

If you have a copy of 'The Endeavor' Check me out. A whole article dedicated to Savanah and the fight to Stop CMV!

CATCH UP!

Savanah turned 8 in March. Savanah celebrated her 5th Anniversary of HAPPY HEARING DAY in April. Savanah started track, started seeing an orthodontist and ended second grade in May. Savanah is excited. . . scratch that. . . beyond excited for summer! So bring it on!

And oh yeah. . . by the way. . . we had ANOTHER stranger GASP after they realized she was deaf. She must be talking that well! Wahoo!

A lil' chat

Savanah: "Mom, how did this "managet" get in my head?" Me: "Well baby, you had surgery. Remember when at the hospital, you rode in a little red wagon. All your family was there and we watched you go into surgery. They put a special little mask on your face and you went to sleep." Savanah: "Oh yeah, I remember that. It smelled really good Mom. Like fruity pebbles." Me: "Yes, that was the medicine that put you so sleep so they could put the magnet and cochlear implant in your ear that couldn't hear very well." Savanah: "Did it hurt much?" Me: "You cried a little bit when you woke up, but you quickly seemed to get better fast. We went home later that day and you were feeling so good that you wanted to ride your barbie bike down the sidewalk!" Savanah: "That's just like me, huh mom?" Me: "Yes baby, you are a go-getter." Savanah: "I really do love my cochlear implant mom. I am so glad I can hear everything, sometimes I don't like to hear my sister talk really loud or babies cry but I love to hear all the beautiful noises like birds, friends laughing, my music on my i-pod, my family talk to me. It's so super cool." Me: "Well I am so glad you like it! Your dad and I had a very hard decision to make for you and I only hope that you will continue to cherish your implant throughout your entire life. You have been so brave and strong. We are so proud of you! Did you know that your 5th Happy Hearing Day anniversary is coming up next month?" Savanah: "Mom, you're so funny, I'm not married!" - I love her. To pieces.

Soaking It Up

We are moved in. To our NEW home. Savanah is in love with everything about it. The neighborhood. The cul-de-sac. Her own room again. EVERYTHING! And you know what else. . . s

She is excited to go to that new school next year! Wahoo! Moving on up to the BIG 3rd grade next year and being 100% MAINSTREAMED!

Flows right on by. . .

I never believed people when they said -
"TIME GOES FAST!" "Before you know it, she'll be all grown up!"

Thought I would just post a little testament
to how true that statement really is.

Seems like yesterday
we just had Miss Savanah
Seems like just yesterday
we were worrying about whether or not she would ever be able to talk
or hear
or laugh

Seems like just yesterday we listened to her babble
To her "uh, uh, uh. . ."
For everything.

And now here I have it
An almost 8 year old.
A beautiful big girl.
So full of life.
Who is talking,
laughing,
telling jokes,
reading,
enjoying every second of her life!

It does go fast -
enjoy it!

Stay

So as some of you may know. . .
we're building a house. . .
in another city -
not far away but another city
where Savanah would go to another school.

At first she was pretty excited about this.
For starters she can walk to this school.
Can you say right across the street?!?
Second there are a ton of kids in our new neighborhood.
This is something she was not accustomed to in our old house.
There were a few kids, few is saying it nicely.

We decided to let her finish out 2nd grade at her school she attends now.
We told her she'd be starting fresh at her new school for 3rd grade.
And she would be mainstreamed! That was the kicker, another new adventure for her.

Well as of right now - she doesn't want to leave her current school.
She wants to ride the bus from our new house to her old school.
Everyday she says.
Hope she changes her mind-
It's always been my dream to watch her walk to school. :)
Hand in hand with her little sissie.

Snapshot to remember.

Isn't she just the sweetest thing?
This morning before walking out the door to school
Savanah exclaimed "Mom, I'm so excited to have a family night tonight!"

Family nights in this house consist of the Wii,
board games, popcorn surprise, a movie, making dinner together
and just enjoying each other's company all night
(not to mention her favorite part - staying up late)!

I sure do love being a mom.
I never believed people when they said. . .
"Enjoy every little second, because before you know it they are all grown up."
This is such a true statement, in fact, nothing has ever been said more honestly!

I wish I could just pause time but I have to admit -
I am so EXCITED to watch Savanah continue to progress
and turn into an even MORE BEAUTIFUL little lady.

BOOM.

So we went to the park today.
Yes it's January in Utah.
Yes it was a whopping 54 degrees outside too.
The sun was shining.
No snow on the ground.
So the park we went -
with little Molly too.

Savanah found a few friends.
They were boys - naturally.
These boys weren't the nicest boys.
Teasing her, making fun of her.
She was strong and ignored it.
Continued to play.

Until "WHAM"!
This little boy -
9 or 10 years old.
CLOCKED HER
RIGHT IN THE EYE!

Good thing her daddy was there.
He had her back.
He marched right up to the hitter.
Said "You need to say sorry"!
We started walking back to the Tahoe
realizing the HIT AREA was only getting worse.
Bruising up - swelling up her eye.
Daddy decided to turn back around.
Find the parent of the child.
Get it resolved there at the source.

"It's not okay to hit girls.
EVER. Not on a playground, not at school, anywhere."
The kid stared in amazement as daddy got a little more upset.

We walked back to the truck.
Savanah hanging tight onto her daddy.
"Thanks for not giving up on it dad".

What awful cruel people live in this world.
And the sad thing is - it starts that young.
Because of parents.
When you have children - it is your responsibility to mold them.
Guide them.
Help create people who are respectful.
Kind.
Trustworthy.
It starts this young - making sure you tell your children about people who are different, or in our case - teaching your children that some children cannot hear or see or walk or talk.
The world would be more accepting if parents started where they were suppose to.

Woop, woop!

This is an e-mail I recieved earlier this morning: HUGE!
The level 18-20 for second graders is AMAZING! They want them to finish 2nd grade at a 20. . . and when they say "they" they are speaking in regards to "hearing" children - so GASP! my deaf child is on a "normal, average" reading level! Hooray!

"The mainstream teacher has completed Savanah’s DRA (Reading Assessment) for Winter and she scored an independent Level 16 with minimal errors. This is an improvement over the fall score. Level 16 places Savanah at the low end of “Grade Level Mini-lessons” allowing her to access mainstream Language Arts Core Curriculum. This also places Savanah at a Level 18-20 for instructional reading. Hurray for Savanah!!! Her DIBELS score supports this finding (12-11) placing her at “Marginal Grade Level.”

In the self contained classroom, Savanah is working at Level 20 for Guided Reading. Her Home Reading Level (K) has been raised as you know. I am pushing Savanah to a higher reading level. She is getting additional help on T, W, Th with mainstream reading group as well, from 3:00-3:30"

What's normal?

I had an interesting conversation with Savanah last night.
It was a conversation where I thought to myself. . .
"Where has the time gone? How is she so big now? So grown up?"

We were sitting on the bed, admiring yet another just barely lost tooth.
From out of the blue Savanah says to me -
"Mom I don't want to be deaf."

Trying to not act shocked or sad, her statement stunned me for a moment.
I felt a little paralyzed.
What was I going to say to that?
I didn't have to say anything because she kept talking -

"I don't want an implant anymore. I want ears like you and Daddy have, like Gracie has too. I want to be able to swim and not have to take my implant off. I want to have normal ears. Not deaf ears."

I thought to myself - why does she even know the word normal?
Well duh Mom - everyone knows that word, especially 7-8 years old.
My head was screaming SAY SOMETHING!

So I did. . .

"Savanah you know we love you so much and you are so special and not just because you are deaf. But because there is no one else in this world like you. There is only ONE Savanah. You have beautiful ears and unfortunately we couldn't pick working ears for you - you were born deaf. But we all have learned to make the most out of it. You are the only Savanah in our house that gets to celebrate HAPPY HEARING DAY, you're the only Savanah who gets to sleep without being interrupted with noises, you are the only Savanah who has a puppy named Molly as her personal alarm clock and that alarm clock kisses you in the morning, you are the only Savanah who has their own personal audiologist named Cache and because of this you are the only Savanah who gets to have trips that are just because of you where we get to stay in a hotel and swim and have lots of fun, you are the only Savanah who has an implant and who gets to carry special batteries that only Costco makes. You are the only Savanah in our house that has been able to have special teachers and special schools to help you learn to use your implant and voice! You are OUR Savanah and we wouldn't trade you for anything! You are perfect just the way you are!"

You know what I got as a response.
The biggest hug possible.

I know these conversations will start occuring more frequently.
I know there will be more questions asked.
More dissapointment, more wishing for "normal" ears as she gets older.
But I will take these moments and continue to try to show her how proud we are of her. How blessed we are to have her in our life. How she is so very special to us.
The reason I became a mother was because of Savanah. I will continue to try to show her that not only am I teaching her, she is teaching me everyday!

Always on the NICE list.

Savanah was on the nice list
AGAIN
of course.

She always is -
with that tender,
sweet,
loving,
genuine personality of hers -
how could she not be?

She got EVERYTHING she wanted for Christmas.
(i.e. zip back bow and an i-pod)

I love her. Every little ounce of her!