A moment. . .

Recently I have been finding myself in these "moments" where I go back to the exact moment when we found out Savanah was deaf and how crushing that was. It was soul shattering. I thought, why me and why my poor baby?!? You have read my posts like this, you know how I felt.

But how I feel now is completely different! I feel so fortunate for a healthy child. I feel blessed beyond words that she is still here and she is happy and breathing. I am so happy that medical miracles occur daily and she has a working cochlear implant and she can hear with it! I am so proud of my almost - 6- year old. I am proud of myself and her dad for overcoming the trials and tribulations that raising a deaf child has encountered, but more so I am proud of Savanah for enduring and never giving up.

We could have been dealt a really bad card. CMV could have made Savanah extremely sick, she could have died. Recently, a story I followed of a mother with a sick infant battling pertussis, passed away at Primary's a few days ago. When you hear and see people experience things like that, losing a child, so young and innocent, you have to stop and count your blessings for the healthy children in your life.

I know I think about things like this when I am pregnant, which I am now with baby #3My CMV titers have to be checked, we have to see a perinatologist for an ultrasound rather then a regular 2o week checkup. I worry all over again. I wonder if this baby will also be born deaf, if the baby will even be healthy or if this baby could battle CMV and worse?!?

But again. . . I will continue to count my blessings, my two beautiful blessings that remind me daily of why I was put on this Earth.

Growing up. . .

This picture was taken yesterday at Savanah's Christmas program at USD. I have to say that all of these kids in her class, take that back, the entire school, feel like some of my children. I have rooted for them, seen their progress, watched as themselves and families made it over impossible looking obstacles. I have talked and really connected with their parents and have made friends that I know I will have my entire life.

There is definitely a strong connection between families with deaf children. I cannot explain it. I can't put my finger on it, but these kids. . . Hunter - Jacob, Leah, Ellie, Savanah, Tyson and Justin have become my "kids" too! And they are all doing so wonderful, I am so very proud of them. We could not have asked for a better teacher either, Becky is our hero and she is absolutely wonderful!

This little gal has her first loose tooth. . .

and she could not be more excited for the Tooth Fairy to come!

Carefully placed under a pillow of white
Lay one little tooth as she turned out the light
Her eyes closed in slumber, a smile upon her face
Covered up to her chin with a quilt her momma made

Quietly hovering above her sweet head
A room full of fairies looked down on her bed
Little gold bags were carried by some
While others had wands that glowed like the sun

Each one had a job to fulfill in the night
Some brought coins and others brought light
Together they worked as they flitted about
Replacing the tooth with some coins to be found

Their job was complete as she let out a sigh
Then they floated to the ceiling way up high
Out of the window and into the night
The tooth fairies flew leaving behind such delight.

Feelin' a little lost. . .

Savanah has started a new reading program through her mainstream school today. There are a series of beginning reader books that she has to learn to read and have me intial them.

Apparently this program is said to be very good. They have seen tremendous success with this, and I am a PTA volunteer for this program also, helping organize the books and hand them out every week. I can definitely do that part!

But I am feeling extremely lost on how to teach my deaf child to read. She is understanding all of the letters in the alphabet and for the most part, she can tell me all of the sounds they make. I don't remember my parents teaching me how to read, but I also could hear.

Anyone out in this great big world, with a deaf child or not, have any suggestions for me and my Savanah? I want her to succeed in this world and READING plays a big part in that.

PaTtErNs

So Savanah has homework. She has a workbook full of things to learn such as counting, letters and the sounds they make, sight words, memorizing her address and phone number, birthdate, etc.

She also has a math workbook that comes home once a month, you are suppose to complete fifteen activites with your child and for the month of November, the math homework is on patterns.

Now, she is gone all day at school, I rarely see her anymore, or so it feels. The other night as I sat down to start this pattern math homework with her, I expected her to not know what a pattern was. I expected her to listen to my explanation. But instead, I was listening to hers.

She explained to me she knew what a pattern was, it's like "A, B, A, B, A. . ." or "red, yellow, red, yellow. . ."

WOW! I was blown away, I don't know why I was so surprised by her knowledge of this, but I was and I shouldn't have been, because Savanah is so smart. She has always been smart. I mean she was 100% potty-trained before the age of 2, she learned to scale out of her crib at 18 months old, she just figures things out quickly.

Her speech and language is expanding so much, I am so excited everyday. She is becoming the perfect model of what a implanted child should be doing! Woohoo Savanah!

My best teacher.

I have never felt so blessed. I am constantly amazed by Savanah's strength. She is such a beautiful little girl with such a caring, sensitive heart. Sometimes I wonder if this gentle soul is so sensitive to others because of her own disability?

We were reading a book tonight in bed. It is a book that is a poem about a box of crayons, and none of the crayons get along. A little girl is in the toy store and she hears the box of crayons arguing. She buys the crayons and takes them home and starts coloring with them. She colors this beautiful picture and shows the crayons that the blue became the sky, the green became the grass, the white became the clouds and the yellow became the sun etc. She explains to the crayons at the end of the book that each one of them is unique but when they all get together, the picture becomes complete.

Savanah loves this book. We have had it for awhile, we read it maybe six to seven times a month. It is such a simple, kind story. Savanah understands the meaning of the book, but she especially understands the part about each of the crayons being different. She knows she is not the same as hearing kids. In fact, she is proud to point that out to people. She will gladly show you her implant anytime. But she also knows her deafness does not define who she is. She knows that she is a smart, patient, strong, kind, resiliant little girl who is loved by many.

Tonight after we had finished this book. Savanah turned to me and said, "We are all different Mommy. I am five. Gracie is one. You are tall. Daddy is strong. Grandma is nice. Grandpa is funny. Ellie is silly. Tyson is cute. Koby is happy." And so on. . . - what I noticed from her description of how people are different, was each of the things she named, was not something about the way the person looked, but a good trait of theirs. I was proud of her for noticing these things and allowing specific traits to define a person.

I am so amazed by her everyday. If we all paid a little more attention to five year olds, maybe we could all learn a little something about kindness.

Two "EARS"!

We had our every 4-month trip to Logan last Friday to visit Savanah's audiologist. It was one of the best trips ever because Savanah had her VERY BEST audiogram since she was born!!! Her audiologist also did a hearing test without her cochlear implant and her right ear has stayed consistent the last three tests, so the only thing left to do to strengthen that ear and help her not to strain as bad, was to put her old hearing aid back on until January when we purchase a new, more powerful hearing aid.

So as of now, Savanah has two "ears" on and she is ecstatic! She cannot wait to show her friends at school on Tuesday. Day off tomorrow!

I thought she would be angry at this, I thought she would hate the mold again and the amplification of noise coming from the hearing aid because it is so different then the sound she gets from the cochlear implant, which is more natural because it mocks natural hearing. BUT she loved it! She talked about it the entire way home, at lunch, with grandpa and grandma when we picked her sister up and then the entire night. She is so excited and says she can hear better now! EXCELLENT. Anything to help improve Savanah's quality of life with hearing, we as parents are willing to do!